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It's the most matrimonial time of the year.
The winter holidays always inspire a spate of engagements: December far outpaces Valentine's Day for proposals, according to the Conde Nast Bridal Group. The spirit of giving, the gathering of loved ones, the pressing need to come up with a stellar gift. Makes perfect sense, really.
It also makes for a pretty eye-opening January. In addition to the annual "Really? I spent that much at Best Buy?" moments, the "Maybe we shouldn't have sprung for that extra case of champagne" moments and the "Really? I spent that much on Amazon?" moments, you now have the "How on earth do we pay for a wedding?" moments to consider.
Oh, by the way, congratulations.
But back to the business at hand. You're coming off an expensive season and you're entering an expensive phase of life. And it's all very happy and manageable. Provided you do it right.
That's why we called in the experts.
"It's very important to tackle finances right away with your spouse-to-be," said consumer savings expert Andrea Woroch. "Money matters are one of the No. 1 causes of arguments, and you don't want to go into a new marriage with someone having debt that will hinder you getting a mortgage loan and all sorts of other things."
On the heels of holiday spending, especially, Woroch said, you should lay out your entire financial picture for each other.
"Talk about credit cards, debt, how you plan to spend money, if one of you likes to dine out a lot and the other prefers to cook at home, your 401(k), your IRA, savings accounts, what are your goals, what you want to save for," she said.
Ideally, these conversations take place before you start planning the wedding, since the size and scope of the event should be dictated by your finances.
"Don't whip out the credit cards just yet and start making a down payment on a reception hall," said Carmen Wong Ulrich, author of "The Real Cost of Living: Making the Best Choices for You, Your Life, and Your Money" (Perigee/Penguin, $14.95). "Spend time doing a lot of talking and not a lot of doing: How do you want your wedding to look, what are your priorities, how do you want to start your new life as newlyweds. You don't want to do it in debt."
That might mean planning an off-season wedding, Ulrich said, or one that is smaller than you once pictured. Or, if size is paramount (you've got 300 relatives and friends salivating for their invites), plan a giant shindig in less-expensive digs. With do-it-yourself centerpieces. And photography by a friend. And a super-scaled-down cake.
The mountain of gift cards you acquire during the holidays may come in handy, said Woroch.
"Maybe you have Pottery Barn cards that you can use for some reception items," she suggested. "If it's not too late, maybe you can actually request gift cards for various stores and services, or for travel, that you think you can use for your wedding."
An eye toward frugality is rarely a bad idea.
"People say, 'I'll only have one wedding, but I can pay my credit cards off forever,'" Woroch said, laughing. "Well, you just might be paying them off forever if you rely on them to fund your wedding and you don't limit yourself to what's important to you."
Ulrich said you should "absolutely" pay off your holiday debt (and other debt accrued over the previous months and years) before you start spending on wedding planning.
"Go online to find a debt calculator and make a plan to pay it off as quickly as you can," she said. (You can find one at tinyurl.com/36uzftq.)
"If you add another $20 a month or $50 a month to your payments, see how quickly your debt can be gone. The sooner you pay it all off, the sooner you can put money into a savings account to pay for the wedding."
The winter holidays always inspire a spate of engagements: December far outpaces Valentine's Day for proposals, according to the Conde Nast Bridal Group. The spirit of giving, the gathering of loved ones, the pressing need to come up with a stellar gift. Makes perfect sense, really.
It also makes for a pretty eye-opening January. In addition to the annual "Really? I spent that much at Best Buy?" moments, the "Maybe we shouldn't have sprung for that extra case of champagne" moments and the "Really? I spent that much on Amazon?" moments, you now have the "How on earth do we pay for a wedding?" moments to consider.
Oh, by the way, congratulations.
But back to the business at hand. You're coming off an expensive season and you're entering an expensive phase of life. And it's all very happy and manageable. Provided you do it right.
That's why we called in the experts.
"It's very important to tackle finances right away with your spouse-to-be," said consumer savings expert Andrea Woroch. "Money matters are one of the No. 1 causes of arguments, and you don't want to go into a new marriage with someone having debt that will hinder you getting a mortgage loan and all sorts of other things."
On the heels of holiday spending, especially, Woroch said, you should lay out your entire financial picture for each other.
"Talk about credit cards, debt, how you plan to spend money, if one of you likes to dine out a lot and the other prefers to cook at home, your 401(k), your IRA, savings accounts, what are your goals, what you want to save for," she said.
Ideally, these conversations take place before you start planning the wedding, since the size and scope of the event should be dictated by your finances.
"Don't whip out the credit cards just yet and start making a down payment on a reception hall," said Carmen Wong Ulrich, author of "The Real Cost of Living: Making the Best Choices for You, Your Life, and Your Money" (Perigee/Penguin, $14.95). "Spend time doing a lot of talking and not a lot of doing: How do you want your wedding to look, what are your priorities, how do you want to start your new life as newlyweds. You don't want to do it in debt."
That might mean planning an off-season wedding, Ulrich said, or one that is smaller than you once pictured. Or, if size is paramount (you've got 300 relatives and friends salivating for their invites), plan a giant shindig in less-expensive digs. With do-it-yourself centerpieces. And photography by a friend. And a super-scaled-down cake.
The mountain of gift cards you acquire during the holidays may come in handy, said Woroch.
"Maybe you have Pottery Barn cards that you can use for some reception items," she suggested. "If it's not too late, maybe you can actually request gift cards for various stores and services, or for travel, that you think you can use for your wedding."
An eye toward frugality is rarely a bad idea.
"People say, 'I'll only have one wedding, but I can pay my credit cards off forever,'" Woroch said, laughing. "Well, you just might be paying them off forever if you rely on them to fund your wedding and you don't limit yourself to what's important to you."
Ulrich said you should "absolutely" pay off your holiday debt (and other debt accrued over the previous months and years) before you start spending on wedding planning.
"Go online to find a debt calculator and make a plan to pay it off as quickly as you can," she said. (You can find one at tinyurl.com/36uzftq.)
"If you add another $20 a month or $50 a month to your payments, see how quickly your debt can be gone. The sooner you pay it all off, the sooner you can put money into a savings account to pay for the wedding."
